"Cannonball" Taffy O'Jones is a fictional Welsh cricketer. In "Finger," Taffy knocks Richie unconscious with a bowl to the head during a stag cricket match being held in honour of Taffy's upcoming wedding to an abattoir worker who looks like Ted Rogers. Eddie reveals that the blow to Richie's head was Taffy's honeymoon present. Eddie finds Taffy's car keys amongst a collection of trousers he has acquired throughout the match, and both decide to do one over on him. Richie and Eddie pose as Taffy and his new wife, little do they know that Taffy is in hot pursuit, and catches them both up at the Marvelloso Splendido Hotel-O. Taffy subdues the duo with two well-timed cricket balls to the head with the quip "That's right you ignorant English wankers!"
- Taffy is never seen onscreen, and only his voice his heard at the end of the episode. He is voiced by Kevin Allen, who appeared as Marcel, the horny bartender, in the same episode.